Share one of them with the other person. I believe that this conversation at the very least eliminated her denial that she had a problem and instigated her to taking some positive action. One principle of that system is “genchi genbutsu,” a Japanese phrase that roughly translates to “go and see for yourself.” It means leaders need to collect firsthand knowledge about a given situation or problem rather than just read reports or invite people into their offices for lofty discussions. There are certain factors that should be taken into account when attempting to have a productive conversation. This is especially true when there’s some sort of confrontation going on because body language and tone of voice can help defuse tension. There’s nothing wrong with silence; it can help you think about what you want to say instead of just talking for the sake of talking. She also pulled from personal experiences in her life, including interviews with people close to her. The Ten Things Managers Need to Know fromFierce Conversations. Determine the future implications – how this will affect me in the future if it is not resolved, how it will affect others and our emotions. According to the author, it Have too much to read? 1. Be courageous and do your research. Don’t worry about facing uncomfortable facts; just face them squarely and keep going until you find a solution that works for everyone involved in the project. Key Point 2: Co-workers must establish “ground truth,” which is a realistic assessment of how the business operates and performs. T his is a book review of Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time.. Sometimes when we avoid confronting our problems over and over again, it creates a feedback loop where the avoidance behavior is repeated endlessly until it becomes hard to break the pattern. For example, if you’re talking with an underperforming employee, you might acknowledge the reasons for that performance (such as losing a key team member). The second thing Susan most emphasized was, “coming out from behind yourself and make the conversation real.”  Her constant emphasis on this phrase developed throughout the book, which eventually highlighted its true importance as it progressed. The author is one of the most brilliant people around, because: She wrote her book in terms that could be understood by anyone, and gave more than adequate examples to support her information. By listening to what others have to say, we are attempting to understand their interpretation of reality through empathy. I’ll apply what I’ve learned in this book in my career by: 1. First, identify your problem clearly. Overall it was a very well thought out book and I encourage anyone interested to read it as well. In your next conversation, pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. FIERCE CONVERSATIONS FOR SOCIAL DISTANCING When basic needs are at risk, important conversations get de-prioritized, just when you need them most. These methods may be necessary in some situations but they shouldn’t be the default because it can sabotage you without realizing it. One study showed that when participants made identical requests using scripts, face-to-face conversations were up to 34 times more successful than emails even though they used identical scripts for both types of communication. These beliefs should be explicit so that the business can stay true to them in all of its actions. She allows effective silence for her words to sink in, while successfully expressing powerful emotion and intent. She shares information about her private life and intimate conversations she has had with people working in the industry, among other things. Today’s leaders should consider themselves to be conduits of information who are there to help their employees succeed. In conversations, it’s important to learn more about the other person and yourself. New York: The Berkley Publishing Group. Instincts are composed of listening to your internal voice and acknowledging your reference point. Principle 1: Master the courage to interrogate reality … In “Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time,” author Susan Scott defines fierce as “robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, unbridled.” Fierce conversations are meant for both personal and professional situations. One approach to this issue is to reframe the problem. In her meetings with coworkers, Scott attacks the issues head-on, getting everyone to speak up about the things that he or she has been thinking but dares not say. Over the years, workshop attendees encouraged Susan Scott, the CEO of the company, to publish a book to spread her message and help more people engage … Key Point 3: A successful business is built on candid conversations. Fierce is an attitude. It means powerful or intense conversations. An attitude. They avoid uncomfortable issues that could make them feel bad about themselves if they’re revealed. When leaders and employees describe a business, they tend to focus on the outer rings of the circle: strategies, products, and services. Her goal is to enable business leaders and CEOs across the globe to actively engage themselves in fierce conversation, not only with others, but most importantly with themselves. These questions will help aid ourselves in interrogating our own reality, but understanding how it affects another person’s reality based on our decision of withholding what we really want to say or courageously speaking our interpretation of reality. The author believes that people are often not very good communicators, which leads to problems. Many workplaces prefer email or instant messaging as their main form of communication. Asking questions is priority at this point, only make statements to clarify or for further understanding. Confrontation Model (from Fierce Conversations) OPENING STATEMENT. Pay attention to every conversation you have. He argues that an organization’s strategy should always be an extension of those core values. Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. The phrase emphasized most here, and throughout the book, is “come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real.”  The idea of this statement is to encourage people to take down any sort of emotional barrier or to challenge an avoided topic that needs to be discussed. Fierce conversations principle 5: Trust your instincts (and be the CEO of you) ‘Don’t just trust your instincts. Fierce Inc. is committed to corporate, individual, and large-scale transformation models through principles of better conversation. Scott believes that emotion is more important than logic. The cold-hearted and careless approach is not favorable to lasting relationships with others, whether it’s business or personal. Meaningful conversations include breathing space. * Don’t assume you’re doing this already. The idea behind fierce conversations is to come to terms with reality. Candid or “fierce” conversations are usually avoided under the pretext that fierce conversations take too long – however, Scott points out that anything other than truthful conversations take a lot more time. • A fierce conversation is one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversation and make it real. …business is fundamentally an extended conversation with colleagues, customers, and the unknown future emerging around us. Finally, relationships should be strengthened by talking with one another. According to the author , it means “one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversations and make it real.” It simply means telling what you really feel and being real. Emails are inferior choices and should only be used as a last resort. Fierce Inc. is committed to corporate, individual, and large-scale transformation models through principles of better conversation. Remember that everything you say affects someone else emotionally, be conscious about how, when and what you say. The conversation hasn’t ended just because the conversation has ended. It’s a great idea to stay focused and not let our minds drift so that we don’t live fully here. She is very open about the fact that she gives her clients advice on both sides of their lives, as well as private issues such as their spouses and problems with substance abuse. Slow down the conversation, so that insight can occur in the space between words and you can discover what the conversation really needs to be about. In this summary of Fierce Conversations, you will learn: How to overcome the barriers to meaningful communication. Challenge yourself to come out from behind your emotional barrier and speak to others in an equal emotional light and authenticity. This helps avoid getting lost in tangents and distractions along the way. To start a discussion, carefully think about what the problem or issue is. Finally, clarifying questions restate a particular point to make sure everyone is on the same page in this conversation. Susan dwells on the importance of if we really ask someone something; they will really answer in return. Author Susan Scott details the exact methods for the conversations … It’s a way of knowing, and it should be respected. After 13 years of actively engaging herself in consultation and fierce conversation, Susan decided to write a book to enable others to take part in meaningful, fierce conversation. Asking why helps you make generalizations about systemic issues that might be causing unwanted outcomes. Sign up for a 5-day free trial here. The Six Minute Book Summary of The Book, Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott. * Do I say things I don’t really mean, just to be polite? Write your opening statement using the following guidelines: 1. Scott advocates truthfulness because it is direct, it is effective, it saves time … Here is a sampling of what others have said about the book and its author: “Scott maintains a consulting firm, Fierce Conversations, which provides leadership programs on creating positive change through powerful communication. Getting fierce means getting real. Although some may be difficult to follow at times, they are certainly important to consider for the sake of your organization, personal relationships and yourself. Speak and listen as if this is the most important conversation you will ever have with this person. We live in the present moment, but we can’t live anywhere else. fierce® CONVERSATIONS Post-Training Discussion MANAGER GUIDE Fierce Foundations teaches the connection between conversations and results — including individual, team and organizational results. Have you ever wondered how to make your values more concrete and specific? Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. According to the author, it means “one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversations and make it real.” It simply means telling what you really feel and being real. Want to get the main points of Fierce Conversations in 20 minutes or less? Fierce Conversations – Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time provides a simple, but specific, outline, along with detailed examples of her endeavors, to enable anyone to take part in meaningful conversation. Scott, S. (2004). People tend to think that being honest will hurt their relationship when in fact it strengthens them because people appreciate honesty. If there is a Fierce Conversations SparkNotes, Shmoop guide, or Cliff Notes, you can find a link to each study guide below. Silence gives time to reflect on and identify the problem at hand, rather than the effect of everything that has happened as a result. Identify your most pressing issue – what the most important issue that needs to be resolved is. Do it by setting yourself a deadline, writing down your opening statement on paper, and practicing saying it out loud. Be yourself. According to the author, it means “one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversations and make it real.” It simply means telling … – use this point to make understanding on how the issue being discussed will be resolved and the methods for achieving resolution. But the key to real business success, according to author Susan Scott, is what she calls "fierce conversation," an honest, meaningful, authentic exchange between two people. It is a very effective, but brief, overview of the book as a whole. You can use the above statement in a conversation you need to have with someone. By reframing the issue in that way, some shelters have been able to address their issues by redirecting resources and helping dog owners deal with problems that might lead them to bring their pets into a shelter. The curtain is a metaphor for hidden things not fit for public consumption. How Do You Build One? Susan included a list of 7 steps, called Mineral Rights, which will aid in having fierce conversations from ourselves. People’s realities are always changing. The sudden loss and emotional shock is carried with us at home, and at work. * Avoid the accountability shuffle, where you pass the buck on responsibility for something you did wrong or didn’t do at all. “A fierce conversation is not about holding forth on your point of view, but about provoking learning by sitting with someone side by side and jointly interrogating reality. Title: Fierce Conversations 1 Fierce Conversations. Am I doing everything I can to be and become the best person that I can be? Funneling questions are more specific and go deeper into the topic at hand. Intuition is not guesswork. Siegfried, D. (n.d.). Susan stated that there are ten components of the confrontation model, and they are: Name the issue – the problem named is the problem solved. Conversations are important, so take responsibility for what you say to people even though some conversations may seem trivial at first glance. “If we wish to accomplish great things in our organizations and in our lives, then we must come to terms with a basic human need: We must recognize that humans share a universal longing to be known and, being known, to be loved.”(Scott, 2004). She seems suspicious of technology and how it helps us communicate with each other. We must be willing to engage in fierce conversation on a regular basis to ensure that both parties understand where each is going and how their views have changed, if any have changed at all, because the conversation is the relationship. 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Devoting both time and attention into what others have to say is fulfilling the other person’s need of being known. This involves asking the right questions and using the answers to formulate a strategy. Relationships will fail unless the other person expresses how they feel or what they’re thinking. Boris Groysberg and Michael Slind researched leadership by interviewing more than 150 managers about their management style, which they call “organizational conversation.” This style focuses on communication above all else. Take Responsibility for Your Emotional Wake – Regardless of our wake being positive or negative, our wakes are larger than we realize them to be. 4. We must encourage ourselves to openly express our thoughts and emotions while speaking with others to give the conversation substance and authenticity. * Am I fulfilling my potential in this job? Over the past two decades, she has shared her expertise with clients through her keynote presentations, TedX Talks, and award-winning books, Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time, and Fierce … If one friend starts giving directions from where they are (the food court), that would be absurd because you have to start from where the other person is (on opposite end). “Fierce conversations’ mission is:  Change the world– one conversation at a time.”(Scott, 2004), Let Silence Do the Heavy Lifting – Allow silence when having a conversation; the more important the topic, the longer the silence. This book is essential for leaders, coaches, and anyone who has relationships they feel could improve. Like “The big deal is that if employees aren't engaged, your company will suffer.” ― Susan Scott, Fierce Leadership: A Bold Alternative to the Worst "Best" Practices of Business Today. Sometimes we can’t get passed our own conclusion that someone has a hidden agenda against us and intended something completely different from what they were saying; don’t fall into this trap. Fierce – meaning robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager and unbridled. These conversations were critical in developing the product because they provided more useful information than what you could get from those other methods. 2. An example that illustrates the behavior you want to change. Whenever we say the word ‘but’ everything else we just said before then gets forgotten and thrown out the window.”, Come Out from Behind Yourself into the Conversation and Make It Real, “You cannot have the life you want, make the decisions you want, or be the leader you are capable of being until your actions represent an authentic expression of who you really are, or who you wish to become.”(Scott, 2004). Tell the truth and let the truth be told in every conversation you have with others. For example, if I wanted to express the importance of something and don’t communicate or stress how important it really is to me, it may come off as a lack of interest. The most important thing about interrogating reality while engaging in fierce conversation is to avoid laying blame. Questions are much more effective than answers in provoking learning.”(Scott, 2004). Susan concludes this topic by discussing what she learned at an early age and called, The Decision Tree. For fourteen years, she ran think tanks and seminars for business leaders… More about Susan Scott Take their word for it that they have a problem. Make your own conclusion based on your instincts and inner thoughts, while allowing others to do the same. Some offices conduct job interviews, team meetings and other important conversations via phone or video feed. Fierce conversations start with you and how you show up. The beginning; it was a slow start and took time to gain speed. There is no universal truth because everyone’s perspective is valid. Without being a good listener, we cannot properly identify the issue and therefore progress with meaningless talking or blowing of hot air with little, to no, content. Establishing ground truth requires a lot of hard work, communication with your customers and employees. They can either make or break a relationship, as they’re what hold it together. 2 likes. Don’t blame them, and don’t say “but”, because that implies that someone wins and someone loses. The real risk is that: I will be known; I will be seen; I will be changed . Sometimes people are “made available to industry,” her euphemism for being fired. When speaking to people one-on-one to resolve an issue, it’s important to have a well-planned and thought out opening statement which, as Susan suggested, should last 60 seconds. Someone once said, “If you’re drilling for water, it’s better to drill a 100-foot well than 100 one-foot wells.” It’s important to get down to the main issue and focus on that topic. Listening to what others have to say and devoting my full attention to them is most important. Elevating questions take a bird’s eye view of the situation to ask lofty questions. Don’t bring up anything from previous conversations, even if it’s related to the current one. Subscribe to get summaries of the best books I'm reading. You also shouldn’t be too vague or ambiguous with your words. Don’t persuade yourself that your instincts are incorrect, or as some say “uneducated thinking.”  Examine and evaluate more than surface evidence; look forclue or hints in body language, intent and emotion behind another person’s words. 5. * Don’t drop conversations because of time constraints. * Don’t worry about any outcome in terms of what you’re trying to get out of the conversation. This happens because the causes of problems are not always obvious and require some digging to uncover. Before Scott founded her company, she led CEO think tanks and conducted many one-on-one conversations with high ranking executives. Research suggests that people prefer conversational partners who ask questions because it demonstrates empathy, and professionally it’s a good way to gather information. I explained this to a potential employer at one point during an interview I had went through, and he replied with, “You’re right. People don’t say what they know is true, and they hide their real selves from others. Most conversations are unreal. With the facts and ground realities firmly in hand, it’s important to have frank conversations with your colleagues. … Don’t allow interruptions. You cannot be here, prepared to be nowhere else, when you are interrupted by beeps, and buzzes. There are a few things to avoid when you’re in a conversation. Author Susan Scott believes that, too often, personal and professional conversations are unproductive, or even … The conversation IS the relationship. Fierce Conversations is an approach to enriching relationships and improving results. Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. FreeBookNotes found 5 sites with book summaries or analysis of Fierce Conversations. Communications expert Susan Scott maintains that a single conversation can change the trajectory of a career, marriage or life. See every conversation as brand new. Fierce conversations are the threshold of creating and maintaining a healthy relationship between ourselves and a boss, co-workers, family, friends or loved ones. This is a 6-page professional summary of this book, not the full book itself. Susan compiled a short list of questions to help us come to terms with and interrogate our own reality. Do the hard things right away, and they’ll be easier to do. Rewards can come in many forms, such as an afternoon off to make firing someone less scary. The author frequently uses phrases and mottos to summarize techniques or ideas; for example, one particular type of conversation is called “Mineral Rights” while another phrase used by the author often is that “Life is curly” (meaning life rarely goes according to plan). Therefore, determine what the facts are behind each event? One way to make sure a conversation is a true dialogue instead of an accidental monologue is by asking questions. The second element is interactivity, or encouraging conversations between departments and among coworkers. Yourself when you need them most problem – recognize any position you think... Staffer won ’ t be too vague or ambiguous with your proposal of time constraints mean, just when speak. 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